1) PHASE ONE
"Let's start from the beginning. The idea was simple - to create a new sedan that would be the
the pride and joy of Malaysians. How we went from there would be anything but easy..."
The real deal
"Let's start from the beginning. The idea was simple - to create a new sedan with old ideas which basically is like creating a Gen 2 but with a few add ons and shinny objects that would be the laziness of Malaysians. How we went from there would be anything but way too easy..."
2) HOW WOULD IT LOOK?
"Our designers sketched hundreds of designs for the would-be Persona. Each one gave careful
consideration to the aesthetics of the car. Some paid tribute to the existing Proton designs.
Others were a fresh version of the future. In the end, we chose the best balance of both."
The real deal
"Our designers sketched hundreds of stickmens on papers, knowing that they are lazy to
sketch a design for a would-be great car. Most of the time, they knew that all the have to do
is to recycle back the Gen 2 design, add some touches to make it like a Chrysler 300c. Most
of them used old designs and make it look better just a bit. Others were fresh, but they
couldn't be bothered. In the end, we just choose the same design to cut cost on materials
and make easy money out of people."
3) FINDING A NAME
"Through the project was labelled 'Proton Sedan', we had to give a name to our little baby.
Something catchy. Something friendly. Something meaningful to it's driver. One hundred and thirty-five suggestions later, we went with Persona. Nice.
The real deal
"Through the project was labelled 'Proton Sedan', we thought it was to cheap for us, we have
to give a better name for our fat-lazy baby. Something catchy. Something so cold, people
would want to forget about it after a month. Something so bad, the driver wish he wasn't
driving this piece of junk. One hundred and thirty-five great suggestions later, we know that
the public had given and suggested alot of better name that we couldn't think of, we didn't
bother the hundred and thirty-five names, we went for our own, which is called 'Persona'.
Nice."
4) MAKING SPACE FOR MORE.
"We wanted the Persona to be the next big thing. Figuratively and literally. With importance
placed on creating an extra-large cabin area, the interior of the Persona was designed to
maximize space."
The real deal
"We wanted the Persona to be the next big thing to be crushed by Jeremy Clarkson on "Top
Gear". Figuratively and literally. With importance placed on creating an extra-large cabin
area for our Government-feed asses, the interior of the Persona was designed for our large
pockets with our big chunks of money so that we can sit down and have the last laugh."
5) POWER TO THE PEOPLE
"A family car doesn't have to be tame. Weekends at the mall. Grocery trips. Sending the kids
to school. That's well and good. But now and then, it's great to let loose. So the CAMPRO 1.6
DOHC engine was chosen to provide raw power."
The real deal
"A family car doesn't have to be tame. Since it's lazy and it isn't a fuel-saving car, don't expect
much from this car. The engine, we just have to use back the old Gen 2 engine to cut cost on
a better engine with fuel-saving technology. So the CAMPRO 1.3... I mean I.6 DOHC engine
was chosen to provide raw power."
6) LEAVE IT TO LOTUS
"A Proton wouldn't be a Proton without the skill and expertise of Lotus engineering. Our
Lotus team ensured the Persona would meet your toughest demands of handling and
agility."
The real deal
"A Proton wouldn't be a Proton without the skill and expertise of Lotus engineering. Like the
title above, all we have to do is leave the rest of the job, which is 80% of the job, for Lotus to
finish it and credits go to us. Expect the handling and agility to be like our lazy brother, the
Perodua's Kenari. The handling would be like driving an office chair. The agility, priceless.
7) ACTIVE ON SAFETY
"In meeting international standards of safety, the Persona was designed to help reduce injury
and accidents from occurring. Nothing was spared; ABS, EBD, Dual Airbags and a new Auto-
lock feature help keep it's drivers as safe as safe can be."
The real deal
"To tell you the truth, we didn't even meet the international standards of safety. The Persona
wasn't designed to reduce injury and accidents from occurring. A small knock one the tree,
the whole car will fall into pieces. Everything was spared to cut cost, from ABS, EBD, Dual
Airbags and a new Auto-lock feature. We replace the Dual Airbags with colourful balloons.
The driver will have a good time in the ICU room."
8) BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE
"For us, the elegant interior had to equal (or surpass) the elegant exterior. With a stylish
dashboard, plus luxurious textures and trimmings, the Persona should feel like a home away
from home."
The real deal
"For us, we didn't even had to have a great interior that is made with quality. Made-in-China
materials for the inside of the care suits this car, plus cheap luxurious textures and unneat
trimmings, the Persona should feel like a brothel in Chow Kit Road that is far, very far away
from home."
9) OFF TO ASSEMBLY
"Now that the designs and schematics are ironed out, it was time to make test versions of the
Persona. After all, to ensure a quality build, we had to build it right. From the start."
The real deal
"Now that the crappy designs and rubbish schematics are ironed out, it was time to make
test versions of the Persona. After all, to ensure this money-making car to be build, we have
move our lazy ass to build it. From the start."
10) VERSION 1.0
" The concept car is finished. From detailed drawings and computer simulations, we finally see
the Persona for what it is - stunning. Next, we put it through grueling tests to ensure it
meets expectations."
The real deal
" The same old Gen 2 car with a few add ons was finished. We saved money on papers to draw
and computer simulations, since we already know what it will look like. Duh, it's like a Gen 2,
with a few shinny objects and a few inches of bigger space - stunning. Next, we put it
through grueling tests in car parks to ensure it meets expectation. After a few break downs
and a few cones and dummys destroyed, the Persona is ready to hit the horrific roads of
Kuala Lumpur."
11) THIS ONE'S FOR REAL
"After enduring countless trials and inspections, we're ready to manufacture the real deal."
The real deal
"After enduring countless hiccups and complaints and no-nos from the inspecting people,
we couldn't be bothered and ready to manufacture this car."
12) CONGRATULATIONS, IT'S A PROTON PERSONA!
"At last, our car for the people is realized. It wasn't easy. But it was worth it. After months
of hard work and dedication, the Persona can be the pride and joy of every family."
The real deal
"At last, our crappy car with the same design and same cheap made-in-China for the people is realized. It wasn't hard, just too easy. It wasted our time to party and holiday. After a week
of laziness and boredom and a waste of time, the Persona matches the personality of every
macha, every tau kei, every politician of the nation, and every single K.L drivers in Malaysia,
we're just waiting for the cars to go, the money to come. Furthermore, we hope Jeremy
Clarkson loves this car very much."
At last.....after an hour typing this blog.....there you have it, every truth of the Proton Persona saga. A car designed by cheap, lazy people with no motto or whatsoever to build a quality car than to make money out of it. Profit over quality and safety for the people.
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