Coming Out of the Closet

As manager of Kent Learns To Rock (KLTR), I'm deeply disappointed about the pictures of Kent and his gay partner being posted on his blog, and also this is a shock to his fans. It actually gives the band a huge boost ahead of the tour, since its a trend that celebrities announce that they are 'coming out of the closet' through their official blogs and website.

As manager of Kent Learns To Rock, I will respect his decision (Kent) to lead a homosexual lifestyle and wish him the best with his partney

Leslie : Actually hor, I suspected him being gay loh. Everytime in the car sure give me that gayish eye contact. Makes me feel so uneasy lah. But I as the second guitarist of the band, and also one of his heng dais respect his decision into leading this lifestyle. Good luck Kent!!

MJ Jun : I knew it!!! I knew he was gay lah!! Whenever I was practicing smashing guitars, he told me countless of times that he finds it sexy and turns him on. I knew it lah!!! Anyway, I wish him the best with his partner and make beautiful babies

Daniel : MJ Jun, guy and guy cannot produce babies lah. Both sperms clash together, tak jadi lah. Only sperm and egg baru boleh.

MJ Jun : Ohhh...anyway wish you 2 the best lah.

Wa-Der : Kent gay meh?! Oh my God, all the while he was staring at me when I eat. I thought he looking and leng lui behind wei. Diu loh.......am I that leng zhai ah? Anyway, like Leslie and MJ Jun, I also wish him the best lah.

(* ALL THESE ARE FALSE AND MADE UP DUE TO CREATIVITY)

Kent Learns to Rock

(Explicit blog post, read with caution :] )

Ok guys, as we all know ( some of us know ) Micheal Learns to Rock learnt that they can't Rock in Malaysia because some group of crazy ass people in PAS say that their concert is clashing with the holy month of the Muslim fasting and as we all know, by the time they play on stage, already break fast lah pak cik!!!

Sigh.....anyway, Kent and I (well, it starts with Kent first) no no no, we're not getting married. Chill, I love a pussy, not cocks!!! Anyway, we got this brilliant idea of forming a band, a tribute to Michael Learns to Rock (MLTR)

Its called.......


KENT LEARNS TO ROCK (KENT BELAJAR UNTUK BATU)

Yeah baby, it sounds money to me. Ohhh I sense cash flowing like fountain to me. Ohh yeah baby!!!

*Ahem* Ok, Kent Learns to Rock consist of......


Kent, lead singer, swinger, shags like Austin Power, everything he sings, gotta do with S-E-X. And he calls his car the Kentmobile.....you get the point. Camwhore is his second favourite pass time after writing songs about sex. So ladies, expect to see alot of self shots of Kent in his band's website and his blog, which is obviously stated in this picture of him, lying on a class table, giving that seducing look, begging you to fuck him for 25 minutes. : )


Next up is self-proclaim guitar god Mun Jin a.k.a Guitar Geek. Yeah, he makes van Halen rocks the guitar like a girl, owns Axel and of course, masters Guitar Geek on Facebook effortlessly. Known to have the most number of Les Paul guitars smashed on stage, and at home too. Prefers sleeping at night, and of course, waking up late. Sorry ladies, he's taken. Don't worry, because coming up next, we have...


Leslie, the face lives up to his name. Dashing, good looking, a dream look for any ah sam, auntie, old women, little girls and so. He can be second guitarist, playing classic guitar or maybe the banjo. Haha, cute rite? Banjo.......pussy instrument. Can you imagine that? Ok nevermind ladies, Leslie is not taken, so you can drool all night long infront of your computer screen, or fantasize slutty dreams of him and you. With his dashing looks, we'll depend on his face to sell album covers.


And here's Wa-Der. Erm, don't know much about him. I just sign him on the spot in a mamak, eating roti canai and drinking teh tarik at Cheras. Being a bum, fired from a telesales job, house and car got taken away from Maybank, I decided to sign him because of his looks also. Oh no lah, he'll be the drummer for the band. The way he rocks with the drum, macam in the bed with a chick, rock steady with the right beat and tempo. Yeah.

Oh right, sorry. Since when I have the ability to sign people?


Introducing Daniel, yeah that's me. Dashing, good looking, multi-talented, ladies man, big fat bank account *vomit*. Manager of Kent Learns to Rock, also the 'mother figure' to the boys. Yes people, I cook breakfast for them, prepare their schedule, send them to radio stations to do promotion and interviews, make sure they sleep in bed on time, make sure they are AIDS-free, and also make sure they don't get into trouble (really, deserved to be mother of the year, also wants a nominee for a Grammy for best manager for a recording group/ artiste next year).

Ok people, Kent Learns to Rock will be releasing a CD, entitled "I Really Wanna Touch You There" with cover songs lyrics sexually changed including timeless hits like.

25 Minutes to Fuck (25 Minutes)
Breaking My Cock (Breaking My Heart)
I Wanna Fuck (I Wanna Dance)
Let's Book a Hotel Room ( Let's Build a Room)
You Want More Sex (You Want More)
Ocean of Girls (Ocean of Love)
Everything I Fuck (Everything I Planned)
A Different Sex Position (A Different Song)
I Really Wanna Touch You There (Can I Touch You There, Michael Bolton cover)
And so much more

And it all cost RM 29.90. C'mon lah, support Malaysia artist lah.

Anyway, we'll be starting our nationwide tour, starting from Chow Kit, then to Petaling street, then slowly building reputation by playing at Bukit Bintang to passersby, then to Bangsar pubs, then who knows.....WORLD DOMINATION!!!

I'm planning to use my Honda City first to drive around the band, then when money comes, we'll buy a school bus. And as more money comes, we'll be rollin' in a tour bus. BIG TIME!!!

Transfarmers : Revenge of the Famine

I have a new movie idea, and I want Michael Bay to be directing it.

Its called........

TRANSFARMERS : REVENGE OF THE FAMINE

Sounds familiar? It better be.

The stars will be.....Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, Iron Hide, and the rest. Megan Fox can be the hot farmer''s wife, Shia LaBeouf can be Sam the farmer.

It starts like this

Synopsis :
Sam, Mikaela are making ends meet as farmers in Kedah. Yes, Kedah Malaysia. Now with them are the Autobots to help them produce rice and plants and fruits and so on. Now, Megatron and his army owns this building company called Decepticon Buildings Sdn. Bhd. Megatron and buddies planned to build a shopping complex in the middle of a town in Kedah, but Sam's land is blocking their plan to earn big bucks in this project. So, Megatron again with his usual up to no good tricks, decides to unleash a dangerous rain of famine-causing liquid that destroys Sam's plants.

Sam and Mikaela decided to lodge a report to FELDA (Federal Land Development Authority) but failed because FELDA ignored their report and thought the whole famine-causing rain that Megatron will unleash to them for refusing to make way for his development story is total bullshit. So, again a war between farmers and building developers.

So one night, Megatron, Starscream, Barricade, Grindor decided to plan a surprise attack on Sam's land, destroying every grape, rice, mango, papaya, banana, cucumber, pineapple, carrot and every single plant in Sam's land. But Sam and gang were well prepared and launched a counter attack on Megatron's army.

Eventually, all of Sam's plants are destroyed after the battle, Megatron and co. were charged by FELDA for violating the trespassing into private land and destroying private plants and property. Therefore, both sides lost, and the whole Kedah state was left starve to death because the only land that produces food was Sam's land.

To survive, Mikaela had to become ayam and Sam had to become a gigolo.

Erm...the end?

My Holidays Are Empty (Click Five parody of Empty)

Tried to blog at home
no fun
Didn't think I'd miss her
that much
I want to fill my holidays
but its empty

tried to exercise
at home
I've been getting fatter
I think
I step on the weight machine
say that I'm heavy
I'm heavy

Maccaroni Boy is trying
trying too hard
His holidays is bored apart
Maybe the Olympics
is boring him apart
His holidays are empty

and I've even wondered
if I
should be mopping the floor
right now
parents gonna kill me later
Cuz now I'm lazy
I'm lazy

Maccaroni Boy is trying
trying too hard
His holidays are bored apart
Maybe blogging
is bored in his heart
His holidays are empty

oh oh
oh oh
oooooh
oh oh
oh oh

I need to go out
I wanna watch Wall E
before GCS don't have the movie
Just because Leisure Mall
is being a bitch to me
I'm not happy

I'm not happy
I'm not happy

Maccaroni Boy's version of the Angeline so-called 'sex scandal'.

Look, it's probably a very very old topic, its getting less hot to talk about. So, I decided to make my own version to make it hot again. Enjoy. Wonder when was the last time I make fun of people? Hope my magic is still in me.

oh my goodness...*can't believe myself*
13th June 2008 in maccaroniboy.blogspot.com

Ok... things are really getting a bit over, I think.Before I tell you what really happened, I'll recap what happened within the past few days.
Since last week, me, Kerrie, Kent, Kyle and Kamumalu had McDonald's for the whole week. Monday to Sunday. Boy it was crazy, as Kamumalu and Kent ordered lots and lots of Happy Meals. Now what am I gonna do with them Made-in-China toys?

Monday, 9th of June
Me, Kerrie, Kent, Kyle and Kamumalu meet in the school canteen secretly. We were planning to take oath to always eat McDonald's for the rest of our lives. It was a historic event for us. Imagine, Happy Meals everyday, Big Macs infront of us 24/7, and Ronald McDonald posters in our rooms. We're like...worshiping him man. Cool. The oath was like this :

I (insert name and blog alias here), pledge to eat McDonald's every day, not a day less, 5 times a day which is breakfast, tea time, lunch, dinner and supper. I would also collect every single McDonald's Happy Meal toys, not one less will be decorated on my study desk or in my room. I will also placed posters of Ronald McDonald in my room, in the bathroom and in my file. I would also always end the day with a thankful message to Ronald McDonald, for being the greatest. And lastly, I would not confess that having a Kids Membership at the teenager stage is ridiculous and will also not eat anything other than McDonald's.

It was an emotional day. 9th of June, we pledge our lives to McDonald. We were men (and women for Kamumalu and Kerrie).

Tuesday, 10th June
We meet up again at the same place. This time, the 5 of us were to elect who will be the leader of the Mutiara McDonald gang. Kamumalu was the choosen one. Because she hated KFC so much, she as the leader, gave us an important mission, to 'convert' KFC eaters to McDonald's. She said Ronald McDonald appeared to her while she was dreaming, and told her about this sacred mission It was a tough one, but for McDonald, anything is possible.

Wednesday, 11th June
I started my mission of 'converting' KFC eaters to McDonald loyals. My first target was Chee Hui Xian. She is such a loyal KFC supporter, that she doesn't mind chickens dying without any dignity before becoming our food. McDonald's guarantees that chickens will live their last days as chickens the best they can. Not like KFC, where their workers spit, stomp and skin the chickens alive. They are so cruel, not even human as I speak.

It was a hard time convincing Hui Xian to eat McDonald's forever. But she keeps on telling me how finger licking good KFC is. Come to think of it, I find that true to. Before I was a McDonald loyalist, I ate KFC before. The chicken, the nuggets, the wedges, the coleslaw and Pepsi. Pepsi was the real soda drink. The juiciness of the chicken meat, with it's perfectly fried chicken skin, its irresistible. Don't get me started on the Cheesy Wedges. It never taste so cheesy before in my life.

After she went offline, I was left wondering, did I make a mistake by pedging my entire live to McDonald's. To eat, breathe and live McDonald's? And to worship that clown?

I don't know............... But if my fellow pledges know about this, they'll be angry and felt that I betray them. Oh gosh, why life can't be like a Happy Meal?

Thursday, 12th June
The thought of KFC being better than McDonald's is in my mind already. After school, I rushed to Leisure Mall's McDonald's to eat. I need Fillet O Fish right now!! I waited patiently in line, and when it is my turn, I immediately ordered what I want. 4 Fillet O Fish, 3 large French Fries and 2 large Coke. The moment I taste the Fillet O Fish burger, I taste McDonald too. Finally, the thoughts of KFC being better than McDonald's vanished in my mind.

But then, something terrible happened in front of me. A McDonald worker dropped a Big Mac to the freshly detergent cleaned floor. And what did he to? He wrapped it back and placed it on the tray, and served it to the customer. And to my shock, the customer loved it.

Oh my gosh.

Friday, 13th June
I meet up with Hui Xian, told her the whole story. She consoled me, and bought me KFC. Oh how nice of her. A snack plate set, with Cheesy Wedges, coleslaw and mashed potato. Hui Xian knows what I want, and I'm thankful of that. I told her we can't eat in the canteen, because every recess, Kamumalu and gang will gather to eat McDonald's specially ordered by her. So, I and Hui Xian decided to eat in the school's clinic room secretly. I went to the school office and asked for the keys to the room, pretending that I was sick. The school clerk fell for it.

So off we were, enjoying the delicious KFC fried chickens and chewing off every single juiciness of the chicken. Who cares how the chicken die before it becomes your food, I only care about how it will taste like as your food. Don't you think so?

Then out of the sudden, Shu Teng went in. She was sick. But thank God she was a KFC lover, so she eat KFC with us. Luckily, Hui Xian ordered a few more buckets of fried chickens, just in case 6 wasn't enough.

Hoho, we were all so 'naughty' inside. We kept on 'challenging' each other, by eating as much chicken as possible in a set time. No only that, we became more 'naughtier' when we still continue 'challenging' drinking alot of Pepsi. We were so full, we could burp for all day long. Although the moments last for a few hours, but it was fun. Indeed fun. Boy, the meal was finger licking good.

Out of the sudden, Kamumalu, Kerrie, Kent and Kyle came in. Luckily, we hide all of the KFC buckets in a secret place. Kamumalu asked about my condition, I said I was doing fine. So asked Hui Xian and Shu Teng too, they answered the same thing like me. Kamumalu doesn't know that Hui Xian and Shu Teng are KFC lovers. The most important thing is, they (the gang) don't know that I ate KFC behind them. I was shivering, fearing to lose control. Sweating like mad.

When the gang went out, I, Hui Xian and Shu Teng continue our delightful feast. Wah, you 2 think I not dare to shove 5 chickens in my mouth is it? I did. NAH!!!!!! I don't have the picture, cuz' I didn't bring a camera.

My God, almost got caught by Kamumalu. She went back in, said she left her hair clipper here. Luckily I and the 2 KFC buddies heard her footsteps. If not, hoho, end of story. Then, Kamumalu went back to her class to go for Science lesson.

Then we continue our KFC fun again. Shu Teng challenged me to 'seduce' a fried chicken breast. It was a tough one, but what to do, I have to do it. Hehe fried chicken, you think I don't dare to sexually suduce you? My hand on your fried skin, slowly peeling you off. Oh yes....slowly licking your tasty juicy skin that is cooked with herbs and spices. Oh yes, that great feeling!!!!

Then, Hui Xian noticed someone secretly recording us eating KFC in the clinic room. It was Kerrie. She spied on us. How could she?

When Kerrie saw us pointing at her, she ran away with the recorded footage.

What am I suppose to do? How unlucky am I and Hui Xian and Shu Teng, for today was Friday the 13th.




Maccaroni Boy's blog post was printed out, and photostated into 100 copies like Angeline's story. The whole of SMK Seri Mutiara know about the story. Pn Tan, Pn Sasi, Mr Chee and Mr Chew, not to mention the Headmistress, approached Kerrie for the video. The video was later posted on YouTube.com, and about 99999 ratings for 5 star out of 5. The best thing is, 28.7 million people viewed the video and got LOL-ed to the floor. Maccaroni Boy, Hui Xian and Shu Teng were punished for eating KFC in the school clinic secretly, and also for lying to the school clerk, pretending to be sick to get access to the clinic room. Maccaroni Boy's membership as the McDonald's Gang was terminated and he was indeed happy. He finally get to enjoy the finger licking goodness of KFC, that's where he want to be. The End,

Edison Chen loves thumbelinas...

Guess what?

I had Edison Chen promoting the thumbelinas for sale!!!



Something is missing..........words to promote.

Nevermind...I'll do it.

Yeah baby yeah....

I'm gonna do a blog about how I got Edison to promote it.

Oh right....I don't give a McDonald's or a KFC if Edison Chen were to sue me for this. He's only adding popularity to my blog :)

I'M GIVING YOU A CLEAN IMAGE AFTER PHOTOS OF YOU BANGING PEOPLE SPREAD THROUGH THE INTERNET LIKE LURPAK BUTTER!!!!

I would like to thank my Photoshop sifu for editing it. It is quite hard to find a picture of Edison like this. Texts are edited and added by me.

Stronger (Christian Version)

Out of my mind........suddenly, I got an idea of how to change one artiste's song.......by replacing all the themes of guns, sex, lies, life in the fast lane and so on, and replacing it with Christ in it.


Genius.
I don't know whether this works......tell me about it.

My first experiment.....one of Kanye West's famous songs......Stronger.

Stronger (Christian version)

N- n- now let the devil taunt me
Cause Jesus only make me stronger
I need more of Jesus in my now
Cause i can't wait much longer
It's best for me to repent for my sins now
Cause I cant get much wronger
Man I've been prayin' all night now
That's how Jesus forgives and loves ya

I need more of Christ right now
I need more of Christ right now

Don't get lost tonight
Head down to church and pray tonight
Ask the Lord for forgiveness tonight
And don't care what they all say right?
Awesome, Christian music is in the house ya'll
Gee they don't make 'em like this anymore
I ask, cause I'm not sure
Do anybody listen gospel music anymore?
Bow in the presence of his greatness
Cause right now thou has forgiven and come for us
You should be honored in his presence
Cuz' his love for us is like sweet essence
So go ahead go nuts go crazy
You'll never be as happy as this lately
Act like you can't tell who made this
New gospel homey take six, and take this, believers

N- n- now let the devil taunt me
Cause Jesus only make me stronger
I need more of Jesus in my now
Cause i can't wait much longer
It's best for me to repent for my sins now
Cause I cant get much wronger
Man I've been waitin' all night now
That's how Jesus loves ya

I need more of Christ right now
I need more of Christ right now

Me likey

I don't know if you got problems or not,
And did you prayed for it or not
God put you in the plans or not
I'm trippin' cuz' his holiness got me testifying' a lot
But i know that God creates you me
So how the heck could you reject God in front on me
There's more than a thousand reason God loves you and me
You're trippin' cuz' you're caught up in the moment right?
Because God never let's you out of his sight
He'll protect you through day and night
He'd already send his only Son to sacrifice his life
To wash away our sins and lead a new better life
One husband one wife
And bless our enemies and neighbours
Yeah, because that's how God teaches us to be stronger

N- n- now let the devil taunt me
Cause Jesus only make me stronger
I need more of Jesus in my now
Cause i can't wait much longer
It's best for me to repent for my sins now
Cause I cant get much wronger
Man I've been prayin' all night now
That's how Jesus forgives loves ya

I need more of Christ right now
I need more of Christ right now

You know how long God been on ya?
Since the day you were inside your mum's womb yeah
Since the day you start to walk ya
Trust me, that's how God knows ya (x6)
Cuz' he'll make you wiser, better, faster, stronger

N- n- now let the devil taunt me
Cause Jesus only make me stronger
I need more of Jesus in my now
Cause i can't wait much longer
It's best for me to repent for my sins now
Cause I cant get much wronger
Man I've been prayin' all night now
That's how Jesus forgives loves ya

I need more of Christ right now
I need more of Christ right now

You know how long God been on ya?
Since the day you were inside your mum's womb yeah
Since the day you start to walk ya
Trust me, that's how God knows ya (x6)
Cuz' he'll make you wiser, better, faster, stronger