Monday, August 2, 2010

Vampires Suck

Here's the thing, I'm not really a fan of the Twilight series. At times I do hate the whole Team Edward-Team Jacob-Team Bella or whoever these fans support craze, I dislike how even my friend's girlfriends would be like

" Eh why can't you be more like Edward ah?"

"You gain weight tau, can you like get the Jacob body ah. Like that lagi best.."

Twilight in general is a movie about a girl, who couldn't decided whether to be with a dead man or with a mutt.

Out of curiosity, I've watched the first Twilight movie. That movie taught me that vampires can be vegetarians by eating animal meat, can shine when exposed to sunlight instead of dying. And also, vampires are a bunch of emo lots. And to top it off, every time Edward walks in a scene slow motion........the girls sitting in the cinema hall will squeak and go "OMG OMG OMG HE'S SOOOOO HAAWWTTT"

Thank goodness, some people really beh tahan the whole Twilight saga craze, and decided to make a movie to tell us all.....VAMPIRES SUCK!!!

Of all the classic monsters like Frankenstein, the Blob, mummy and so, I really really really hate vampires.

1) Their accent. Its irritating, its annoying, its soo THEM. "I waaann tuuu suucckk ye blooodd"
"Whaaatt? Is in mai bluod to tolk like diss...."

2) Their skin complexion. They happened to have pale looking skin.....after sucking so many blood out of us normal people. How big is your tank damn it?! Maybe too much of Olay whitening skin products XD

"Is that the new SKII skin product. Quick, we need to make our skin look more pale than ever, its the new 17th century look!!"

3) They probably are one of the worst boyfriends a girl can get. Take Edward for example, he's confusing, he's emotionally disturbed, he's boring, he dumps his girl in the most terrible way, in a creepy looking forest.
"I thought of dumping you at McDonald's or Chillies, but I think breaking off with you in this creepy forest would be more romantic and more close to the heart. Furthermore it saves me a heck load of time, my house is just nearby here. Not sure about you though...."

4) Leave the bling bling to rappers of the dirty south. Damn it, I don't know whether to laugh or to pity the evolution of vampires. From being afraid of direct sunlight to coming out to expose yourself to sunlight. Since when vampires sparkle?!

"Lil Jon is this crunk up bling dope enough to join your dirty south crew?"

"Whaaaaaaaaaat??!!! Hoooookaaayy yeaahh!!!"

I bet those real, classy vampires and counts would really feel like doing this to Edward and the current modern so-called vampires =)

"Take that you biiaaaattcchhh!!!!"

So Nuffnang.......I want them passes to watch Vampire Suck =)


Syafiq R said...

would've posted this on your chatbox, but it's a little long.
haha. funny you never like vamps. I always thought the weirder looking, mutant-ish ones were cool though. you know the ones that can split it's face open to reveal like a quadruple set of fangs and basically just mutilate it's victims. sloppy, but effective.

and yea the whole Transylvania accented, pale skin, no sunlight thing came from bram stoker. sadly people just recycled the cliches over and over.

and yup, vamps don't make good bf's. haha they're not supposed to in the first place. they're the frickin undead. they're only interested in dinner or to turn the chick into another one of them. haha the whole romantically entangled vampire thing is just...wrong.

but cmon, you gotta admit vampire CHICKS are HOT. or okay, maybe just kate beckinsale.

DM said...

LOL yeah vampire chicks are hot. I dislike vampires, not totally hate them btw XD Some are cool, most are crap